Who's Your Daddy?
by voidking
Summary: The Uchiha massacre has made Sasuke unstable...but no one thought it would lead to this encounter between Naruto and Sasuke. One shot/Crack Fic. I was hyped up on sugar when I wrote this so take that into thought.


**A/N: I do NOT own Naruto in any way or form.**

**Ok, once again I'm up late, hyped up on sugar and writing a Naruto fic. This is a one shot/crack fic. Basically, what if the night of the Uchiha massacre left Sasuke more messed up than in cannon.**

**Once again as far as reviews go, don't be angry if I don't reply. Once again, I'm not using a beta reader, so the grammar will suck. **

_Italics: thoughts_

"Parenthesis": talking

**On with the story **

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**Who's Your Daddy?!!!**

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Naruto walked into the academy grounds, passing some of the other students and their parents. He ignored the stares and frowns they shot at him like always, keeping the smile of a fool on his face. He looked around, seeing everyone going into the academy like any other day. He glanced at the tree and swing where he usually hanged out at, seeing someone he didn't expect to see.

_Sasuke Uchiha…last of the loyal Uchihas_.

Old man Hokage had told him about the Uchiha massacre, how Sasuke was the last one left in Kohona. _Now he's an orphan, just like me. Maybe I should talk to him. Maybe, finally someone will be my friend._

He walked over to the Uchiha, who was sitting on the swing staring at the ground motionless. "Hey Sasuke, what's up?" _Idiot, he just lost his entire family and your asking him what's up?, think before you speak baka_…thought Naruto. Sasuke raised his head ever so slowly, slightly creeping out Naruto with each second that passed.

Finally he made eye contact with the blond. "Naruto…" he finally spoke. "Yeah…Sasuke" replied Naruto, now even more frightened by the look in Sasuke's eyes. "Naruto…" he repeated. "Yeah Sasuke…" Naruto repeated.

"Naruto"

"Sasuke"

"Naruto"

"Sasuke!"

"Naruto"

"SASUKE!!!"

"Naruto"

"Damn it, Sasuke!!! What is it already?!!!"

"I have to tell you something…something very important." This was said in such a serious way that it took Naruto a moment to reply. "O…ok, what do you want to tell me?"

"No matter what, you have to believe me, ok Naruto?" Sasuke's eyes were almost begging. Naruto couldn't look away, almost believing that if he did, then something disastrous would occur. _Damn, whatever he has to say must be really important to him. With what he's going through, I should help him any way I can_…thought Naruto. To Sasuke he said:

"Of course Sasuke, I'll believe you. What do want to tell me?"

"Naruto, I…I am…"

"What is it Sasuke? You're what?!"

"I am…I am your Father!"

For the next ten seconds no sound was made, until finally Naruto opened his mouth.

"What the F#$!!! What the h#$% is wrong with you?! How can you say something so stupid at a moment like this?!"

"What is wrong with me? I just told you my deepest secret, and you ask what is wrong with me? Ohhh, what a son you've grown up to be."

"Stop that, I'm not your son and you are not my father!"

"Not your father, are you crazy? Look at us, can't you see the family resemblance?"

"Family resemblance?! What family resemblance? We look nothing alike; we're as different as night and day…as the sun and moon…as Hikaru and Kaoru."

"I never thought a day like this would come, when my own son would talk back to me like this. Oh, what you mother would think? God rest her soul."

"Don't you talk about my mother or I'll beat the s#$ out of you!!!"

"Is this what you have come to, threatening your own father with physical violence."

"Stop calling yourself my father. For one thing that's impossible! You're the same age as me, there's no way you can be my father. It goes against the laws of space and time."

"Naruto, look within yourself. Listen to your inner self, you'll see the truth."

"The only thing my inner self is saying is how f#$%en crazy you are."

"Don't use such foul language with me young man. Do I have to bend you over my lap and give you a proper punishment?"

"Ha, who's the one threatening with physical violence now? Anyway it doesn't matter, you're not my father. Get that through your psycho head!!!"

"If I only knew you would act this way, I would have rather you lived on in ignorance."

"Hey don't make me out to be the bad guy here. You're the one spouting out nonsense at the top of your lungs."

"Here I thought we could finally live as a happy family. Father and son, living it out in the Uchiha sector."

"Well you thought wrong. There's no way I'm going to liv…wait, what?!!! Did you say live in the Uchiha sector?!"

"Yeah, I thought we could live on in the huge Uchiha mansion, with me as the clan head and you as the new heir to the Uchiha line, with all it entails."

"Heir to the Uchiha line, with all it entails…What exactly does it all entail?"

"Well you know...the prestige that comes with being an Uchiha, having access to all the wealth of the Uchiha accounts, never ever having to worry about living expenses ever again, to live like a king. But alas, you find shame in being related to me. I guess as a father, I should accept your decision, and let you live your life as you want."

"Now, now lets not be hasty…dad."

"Dad?...Did I hear that right?"

"Yes father, please forgive me, your only son. It's just that after the massacre, I had become so depressed, that I wasn't thinking straight. Please dad, forgive me."

"Oh, of course I forgive you son. You're still young and will make certain mistakes. As your father, it's up to me to teach you the right way to live."

"Thank you dad, you don't know how much this means to me."

"Will you give your old man a hug?"

"Of course, dad."

"Naruto"

"Dad"

"Naruto"

"Dad"

"Naruto"

"Dad"

As the now father and son embraced, they did not notice the crowd that had formed at the beginning of their talk. Each person had their own reaction in the crowd, from Iruka: _Finally, Naruto. It seems you've found your family_, to Gai: _Yosh!!!, Such flames of youth between a father and son!!! It has inspired me to find a son like figure for myself!!! And If I can't find one, then I'll walk around Kohona's walls 100 hundred times on my hands!!!_

And thus that is how the Uchiha line continued….

THE END

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A/N: First thought is I could have made it longer but it is a one shot/crack fic. I did put out a shout out to Ouran High School Host Club. Props to anyone who gets it, if you know the anime then it shouldn't be hard. Tell me honestly what you think, and once again I can't stress enough: do not be mad if I do not reply to reviews.


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